To tell life stories

Many children experience their lives as fragmented pieces without connection. Especillay children who have been through several transitions and changes. It can be hard for children to remember and understand what they have been through. Our memories are important to us, as they help us to understand who we are. If our memories are unclear, unconnected or not there at all, it can be hard to understand who I am. To thrive in life we need to know who we are and that we are loved.

Children love to listen to stories about themselves. They want to hear about when they were born, or when they came to the family. The want to hear about when they were babies and when they started to talk. They want to watch photos and see videos. They want to see where they lived and where they went to school. They want to hear stories about and see pcitures of people who were important to them.

Sometimes the begininng of the child´s life was not good. Maybe I as a parent was not able to give the child what she needed, maybe something happened so the child could not feel safe and secure, maybe the child lived where safety and security did not exist. For such a child it can be very healing to listen to love stories about herself. Stories that tell the child how much I would have loved her if I had had the chance.

Everytime we remember and talk about a memory, we open a window to that memory. When the window is open, we can do changes in the memory. By telling how it could have been, we can fill the memory with new experiences and emotions. It is a marvellous way to change the experience of what actually happened.

Ulrika Ernvik